Relationship Glue Tip #10 – Is Sex the Glue to a Relationship?

This question gets asked quite frequently; is sex the glue to a relationship? If you are 20 and are experiencing raging hormones, you would most likely answer; absolutely! However, if you are 60 your answer might be something like; sure it is important but not the kind of glue that holds relationships together for the long-term. While age should not be a determiner of sexual activity, it is of priority.

Sex and Glue Tact-ability
Glues have varying adhesion factors. I like to use Gorilla Glue for my wood working projects because it is both water proof and holds forever. However the glue that 3M uses on their Post-it Notes is very different as it has a very low adhesive factor. If sex is like relationship glue, then which glue is it-the stuff that sticks forever or that lets go at the slightest tug? Never in construction does an architect, engineer, or master builder rely on glue for structural integrity so why would you?

Sex as the Mitigating Factor
Sex is easily an age appropriate relationship glue; more on the onset and less in the long-haul. If you are younger the more important question is one of relationship tenure. If you are enjoying a “fun” relationship and you have no expectations of the relationship’s long-term viability, then yes-sex is glue. And, if you are looking for a long-term relationship, sex is also an important mitigating factor. While the relationship will most likely fail in the long-term without sex, you must realize that sex will not bind a misfit, structurally unsound, relationship forever. Sex as “glue” will only last so long. Sex is a binder not a support mechanism.

Relationship Gorilla Glue
The true glue that binds any long-term relationship is trust, courtesy, and mutual-respect-aka, love. Without these elements, even the most outrageous porn-star quality sex will only take you so far. The novelty will wear off. Conversely, good healthy loving relationships do enjoy sex as one of the foundational success building blocks.

What’s a Horn Dog to Do?
If sex is your obsession and you want it to be your relationship glue, all I can say is; good luck. But, is sex is one of many important elements within your relationship; I’ll say that you are lucky. Let trust, courtesy, and mutual-respect do the relationship heavy lifting and sex be the value added element that keeps things interesting. My final vote on sex as the relationship glue: not really, well kind of, oh gosh, it is up to you.

Happy loving…

Ed Rigsbee, CSP, for over mesaproducts two decades, has been helping business individuals and organizations of all sizes to grow their market through smart alliance relationships–while at the same time helping individuals to develop what he calls Relationship Glue for their personal lives.

In addition to serving as an adjunct professor for two California universities, he is also the author of Developing Strategic Alliances, PartnerShift-How to Profit from the Partnering Trend, and The Art of Partnering. Rigsbee has over 1,500 hard-copy published articles to his credit and is a regular keynote speaker at corporate and trade association conferences teaching North America how to access their Collaborative Advantage through Relationship Glue, incorporating the steps he shares in his writing and lectures.